Fabulous Blog Award

July 15, 2012

I am honored to have been chosen as a recipient of the Fabulous Blog Ribbon bestowed upon me by fellow Ultimate Blog Challenge blogger Johnson Tosca, creator of Midnight Musings. She chose Refreshingly Riki as one of five blogs to honor, and I am thrilled! This award has rules I need to post and follow.

Rules for the Fabulous Blog Award:

1. Thank the blogger who gave it to you and share the link back to the awarding blog.

2. Name 5 fabulous moments in your life.

3. Name 5 things that you love.

4. Name 5 things you hate.

5. Pass the award to 5 deserving bloggers.

Five Fabulous Moments in My Life

The first time I stepped out on the football field at the University of Arizona wearing an orange polyester Corona del Sol High School marching band uniform. Words cannot describe the thrill I got from being on a field that large for the first time, knowing we were about to perform a kick-ass show. (Incidentally we won top honors for that show!)
Clicking on an email sitting in my Inbox from the Arizona Authors Association that informed me that I was a top-three finalist for their 2003 competition in the Essay/Article category. This moment stretched on into amazing the night I attended the awards ceremony and heard my name called as the First Place winner. To be chosen in a category with so many established, published writers was an honor I will never forget. There was no bigger delight than opening that anthology and seeing my name and words in print.
Crossing the finish line of the PF Chang’s Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon for the first time. It was a goal I had set for myself and attained on my own. I trained with a group, but walked alone in the race with the encouragement of my friends and family. Although I was dead on my feet, I was overjoyed with my accomplishment.
My fourth moment isn’t really my own moment, but it is a moment when I have never felt so proud. Watching my mom walk across the stage at her graduation from Arizona State University and shaking President Obama’s hand before receiving her PhD is by far one of my most treasured moments. She was an example of what hard work and dogged determination could produce.
My last fabulous moment is a montage of moments in my mind. Sitting on the beach in Rocky Point, Mexico next to my dad reading and soaking up the sunlight. We have gone at least twice a year for as long as I can remember and that scene never gets old for me.

Five Things I Love

Daisies
The color yellow
Music
Books
My friends and family

Five Things I Hate

Emptying the dishwasher
The phrase “put on your big girl panties and deal with it.” (See my blog post about this here).
Flying in an airplane
Reading the last page of a good book
Losing at Scrabble

My Five Bloggers!

These are all bloggers I have discovered through the Ultimate Blog Challenge and that I have bookmarked and follow. They are unique in their approach and style, but each provide something I enjoy!

Minette Riordan, creator of By Design
Cheri deFonteny, creator of Idle Chatter
Paula D’Andrea, creator of Rock Your Life
Christine Mann, creator of You Never Stop Learning
Cathy Morton, creator of Cathy’s Voice Now

So, fellow bloggers, I hope that you enjoy this honor and pass it along to five of your own deserving favorites!

Happy Blogging!

Letter to Someone I Wish to Meet (Day Nine)

July 13, 2012

—-

To the person who coined the following phrase,

“PUT ON YOUR BIG PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT!”

I’d really love to run into you one day and find out what the hell is the matter with you. From my perspective you seem like the type of person with no regard for the feelings of others, or maybe simply the type of person with a blithe outlook on all things human. I can’t decide which. What I do know is that never, ever in the history of forever has someone told me to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, and come across as helpful.

Usually when I hear someone toss off that remark it is in response to someone complaining about something they need to handle. Yeah, sometimes people need a little boost to get things done, but as someone who often complains about doing things that fluster me, I ‘m not inspired to do great things when you mention panties and dealing.

I suppose the phrase is sort of like the older motivational gem “pull yourself up by the bootstraps.” I’m willing to bet that folks in the early 19^th century enjoyed hearing that phrase nearly as much as the new and improved version. They have their similarities; bootstraps and panties. What is it with sucking it up and items of clothing anyway?

In closing, I am requesting that you coin a new and more sensitive phrase that inspires more motivation and less total irritation when dispensed. When I need encouragement I need positivity- not useless sarcasm.

Now I must get on to more pressing things, like the laundry I don’t want to do and he homework that sits unfinished on my desk.

What’s that you say? Put on my big girl panties and deal with it?

Sorry, no can do. My big girl panties must be in the wash.

Respectfully yours,

Riki

Letter to My Favorite Internet Friends (Day Eight)

July 12, 2012

Coinciding with the July 2012 Ultimate Blog Challenge, I have decided to also participate in the 30 Day Letter Challenge in which I will write 30 letters to various folks who have touched my life directly as well as inadvertently. The letter for Day Eight is to be written to my favorite Internet friend. Since the majority of my Internet friendships revolve around Facebook and Twitter, I will be writing to those folks today.

Dear Internet Friends,

As a whole you make up my social media world, and I am grateful for what each of you brings to my life. It is thanks to you that I feel connected to places and people I might otherwise not be associated with, and because of that my world is so much bigger.

TO MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS

Thank God for Facebook, or I might not have the opportunity to see your beautiful children, share in your daily joys, or comfort you in your gloomier moments. Time and distance make it difficult to be in your lives directly, but thanks to the Internet I feel like you are each with me every day. Even more wonderful are the high school friends that were merely acquaintances before, but now have become an integral part of my everyday life. How else besides Facebook would I ever have known how we have grown up to have the same passions and interests? I am grateful that you also allow me to be a part of your own lives by reading and commenting on my posts and writing on my wall. Every one of you makes me smile for a different reason.

TO MY SORORITY SISTERS

My time at Alpha Delta Pi in college was unfortunately cut short by unfortunate life circumstances, but in my two years there I was blessed to know some of the most wonderful women I have ever met. Some of them were friends from high school who found the same love and camaraderie, and others were strangers who became lifelong sisters. It is once again thanks to Facebook that I was able to reconnect and share in your lives. To each of you I say, thank you…and PATA!

TO MY BLOG FOLLOWERS

Thanks to the Internet I have had the joy of doing one of the things I love the most and sharing it with like-minded individuals. Writing brings me enjoyment, and sharing it with others multiplies that happiness. I have met wonderful, talented people who also write their own blogs and I seek inspiration from their words as well. Thank you to all of the people who follow my blog and share your comments with me.

TO MY FELLOW SPORTS FANS

Ah, yes…Twitter. Twitter is that wonderful world of 140-character gems that allow us to share our insights with complete strangers. I admit that about 80% of my Twitter feed is occupied by sports-related folks, and I love following athletics in such an interactive way. Through the Internet I am immediately connected directly to not only passionate fans like myself, but also the players, coaches, and executives who make up my favorite teams. It is an immense pleasure to experience games in the context of Twitter.

TO MY FAMILY

I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention my wonderful family. With all of my loved ones living scattered across the world or constantly traveling, the Internet makes it possible for me to remain in touch with them. I love reading status updates about their adventures and it makes the time until we see each other again bearable.

—-

So, to my wonderful Internet friends, I thank you for being a part of my life. I think a better way of describing you all is as my Internet Family. Take care, be well, and keep posting!

Virtually yours,

Riki

Letter to My Ex Boyfriend (Day Seven)

July 10, 2012

Coinciding with the July 2012 Ultimate Blog Challenge, I have decided to also participate in the 30 Day Letter Challenge in which I will write 30 letters to various folks who have touched my life directly as well as inadvertently. The letter for Day Seven is to be written to my ex-boyfriend. I’ve decided to write to my high school boyfriend (the first boy I ever dated) since my relationship with him really shaped my expectations for connections in my future. (NOTE: His name has been changed to protect the innocent, but he will know who he is).

Dear Sean,

My God, you were so cute! Of course as high school freshmen we were awkward and unsure of ourselves, but we managed anyhow. You were the first boy I would ever call my “boyfriend” and the first boy to make my friends jealous. Walking hand-in-hand down the halls with you gave me a confidence I hadn’t known before. You were tall and charming, with a great sense of humor and a talent for playing the drums. I remember attending a music recital with your parents where you played songs by Chicago on the drum set and feeling so proud of you. We were in band together, and you made getting to school at 6:00 a.m. for marching band worthwhile. I loved watching you from across the football field making jokes and being a typical high school boy with your friends.

You were the boy to take me to my fist high school dance, which was Homecoming. My mom and I went out and bought a pretty dress with matching shoes and I had my hair done up for the occasion. You showed up at my house with a beautiful corsage made of tiny pink roses and baby’s breath. I actually still have it dried in a box with my treasured high school memories. We had fun that night, with our parents dropping us off and dancing awkwardly in that manner kids do; your hands on my hips and my arms around your neck with at least a person’s worth of space between us.

Of course we got over our clumsiness and got down to the business of hugs and kisses in between classes, but we were always pretty discreet. As happy as we were, eventually you and I began to want different things. I think it was mostly that you wanted more than a few little kisses and the occasional grope in the halls. We broke up, which of course broke my little freshman heart, but it didn’t bother me nearly as much as walking into the band room to see Amy sitting on your lap while you two did reciprocal root canals with your tongues. It was the antithesis of discrete. It was then that I realized what humiliation felt like, but I also realized that I was too immature to have a relationship that involved such physicality.

Thank you for being my first boyfriend. As sad I was at the way it ended, we remained friends for a long time, and it makes me feel better that you and Amy didn’t last for long. I loved seeing your face pop up on my Facebook to announce your marriage to a beautiful girl. I wish you all of the best.

Love, your first girlfriend,

Riki

Letter to a Stranger (Day Six)

July 9, 2012

Dear Stranger,

I saw you on the train today. I usually don’t pay much attention when the light rail doors whisper open to let people in, but your red sweater caught my eye. It is nearly summertime and you must be warm.

When the doors closed behind you I saw you looking for a seat. As you began to sit down in one a college kid with a black backpack swooped in and took it from you. You nearly landed on his lap. You looked at him and he blew a bubble of gum in your face and looked away, bored. I wish I would have gotten up and offered you mine, but at the time it felt silly.

I stared at you for a long time, but you couldn’t tell with my eyes hidden behind large sunglasses. I couldn’t tell what you were thinking about; your face was such a blank slate. You wore a skirt with that red sweater and I saw you had a run in your stockings. Who wears stockings in Arizona? You looked a little disheveled, with bits of leaves stuck in your curly hair. I wanted to pick them out for you so you wouldn’t look so tousled, but we are strangers. That would be silly.

I wonder where you are headed. Will you get off the train at the college stop with the kid who stole your seat? Are you a professor who will stand up in front of your class with leaves in your hair and a run in your stockings? Or maybe you are a businesswoman headed downtown to one of the anonymous offices in a tall building with many windows. I will never know, because I never asked you. That would be silly.

After a while you looked right at me and my cheeks turned red because I had been staring at you for so long. Of course, you did not know. You looked at me for a minute and looked away again, but your expression did not change. Did you even see me; or were you looking out the window at something beyond my face?

I continued to look at you and wonder about your life for a few more stops. I noticed that you didn’t get off at the college stop and felt better that the class you might have been headed to teach would not laugh at your frazzled appearance. We are probably very close in age. You have a young face but are dressed much older.

The train has nearly reached my stop when you look at me again. For some reason I smiled. Not just a little upturn of the mouth, but big grin with lots of teeth. Your expression remained unchanged for a moment. Maybe you were wondering if I was smiling at you. Then out of nowhere that blank face shifted into a little smirk. Then into a matching grin. We smiled at each other as if we were friends and not strangers.

The automated voice indicated my stop over the speaker and I gathered my things to get to the door. Before I exited the train I glanced back at you. You were no longer looking at me, but you were indeed smiling.

Now that doesn’t seem so silly.

Until we meet again,

The smiling stranger

Letter to My Dreams (Day Five)

July 8, 2012

To my Dreams,

What I love most about you is that you are always evolving. If I think back to my very first dreams, they were expansive, and in my childhood mind they were absolutely, completely attainable. Since being an adult seemed so far away, I was free to dream up any scenario I could imagine. It is funny how as an adult we feel so much more constrained in our dreaming. It shouldn’t be that way. It should never be too late to chase your wildest dreams.

When I was in high school, dreams revolved around life goals, such as having an education. I dreamed that I would graduate from the University of Arizona with a degree in Music Education and quickly begin working as a high school band director. I would meet the love of my life in those college years to marry and have children, maybe two, by the time I was 28 years old. In a way that dream was what I believed to be the right path. I dreamed within the constraints of what I thought was expected of me.

Of course, dreams never play out exactly as you’d imagined them in real life, and my dreams began to evolve once again. My college career was interrupted, Mr. Right was sort of all wrong, and the marriage and kids would have to wait. All of a sudden my expectations had changed, and my dreams had to go with them. I spent a good chunk of time wandering and doubting my dreams. Did I want to return to college? Did I want a husband and a family? Did I even know what my actual dreams and desires were?

Quite some time later my dreams began to form on their own once again. In such an amazing twist, they returned to expansive and vast, just like those dreams of my childhood. In a sense I was starting over in life and was free to also start those dreams over from the beginning. Now I have so many dreams that it is hard to keep up; I even have a running list so that I can come back to them when I can.

I’ve learned that we have to constantly be dreaming. Our reality changes every day and shapes what we imagine to be possible. We see extraordinary things occur in our waking world that enhance what we dreamed to be conceivable. As we mature, we are able to dream up bigger and better reveries. Why should the really exciting fantasizing belong to the children? It is almost more necessary for us to have those visions as adults.

Thank you to my ever-evolving dreams, for always returning to the forefront of my consciousness and reminding me that anything is possible, at any age.

Till we meet again in reverie,

Riki

Letter to My Brother (Day Four)

July 7, 2012

To my “big” little brother Kevin,

There are no words to describe how angry I was with you. How could you possibly have found a reason to leave this life and all of us who love you so much? How could you not have come to me with whatever was hurting you so badly?

It has now been 13 years and eight months since you died, and my anger has worn itself out. These days when I think about you my feelings are more mixed up. I am comforted thinking of our happy memories and so regretful over the happy memories we will not make. There was so much we didn’t say and do and no way to say or do them now.

I wish you were here to share all the news with me. Did you know that our cousin Kerrie got married last month? She married Brad; you probably remember him from trips to Mexico with the family. She looked so beautiful and the photographers got some great photos of the Cleveland family. There was a big gaping hole where you should have been. Did you know that Dad got his ears pierced? Crazy, I know! You know how he’d wanted to do that forever. Did you know that mom got her PhD? All those years of having us playing in the back of her college lecture halls led to her success. You would have been so proud to see her get that diploma.

I miss you now most in the little ways. When I go shopping I want you and your honest opinion in the dressing room with me. You would have been able to help mom when she picked out my dress for Kerrie’s wedding, but I think you would have approved of what we got. When dad and I are out to dinner at the brewery I want you and your laugh there too. We’ve tried a hundred different microbrews that you would have loved. I wonder who your favorite baseball team would have been, although I suspect it would be the Diamondbacks since you’re an Arizona boy. Most of all I miss you when we are in Rocky Point. Those are some of my favorite memories of you and I know how much you loved it there. It breaks my heart to know that you will never sit on that beach with a Corona again. It’s such a shame.

If I stop being selfish and think of the bright side of things, I know that you don’t hurt anymore. This world can be so tough to manage and there are so many things that have the ability to bring you down. God knows I’ve been there. I know that you don’t fight any more internal battles or feel alone. I know that your bright eyes and beautiful smile live on. I don’t know if there’s a heaven or if I will ever see you again, but I do have hopes.

Losing you to suicide was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but I am trying to make the best of what has happened. I am serving on the board of the Arizona chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and have walked two half-marathons to raise money for the EMPACT Survivors of Suicide group that helped support us in those early days after we lost you. It is my wish that nobody ever feel the pain of losing a loved one to suicide.

I miss you every day, and some days are much harder than others. Now that so many years have passed there are fewer people in my life who had the pleasure of knowing you. When I meet new people and they become an important part of my life I tell them about you and how wonderfully kind you were. Those friends who knew you still send our family notes and good wishes on your birthday. (Just so you know, I always have Chinese food on your birthday and order you an extra fortune cookie. I even add “in bed” to the fortune, although yours always come out so much funnier than mine do).

I wish for you nothing but peace, and I wish for me nothing more than to have you by my side. Since you cannot physically be here, I am counting on the fact that you are still with me in spirit.

I love you very, very much.

Your sister,

Riki